


Dearly Departed

by PippinPoppy



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Engagement, F/M, Heartbreak, Love, Marriage, relationship, weddingblues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PippinPoppy/pseuds/PippinPoppy
Summary: My take on episode 8. But then we see where it goes from there.Charlotte has to leave Sanditon.





	1. Chapter 1

Charlotte was resigned to the fact that Sidney would now most definitely marry Eliza.

As soon as she saw him in the drawing room she recognised that something was wrong. He stood stoic and rigid. There was an unapproachably about him, a wall closed around him. She stood rooted where she was. She had not seen him for nearly a week and all Charlotte wanted to was plea with him not to speak. Cause as soon as he spoke, he would break both their hearts.

Why couldn't he have made a proposal to her before he left for London. Logically she knew why he was doing it, he had to do the honourable thing and save his brother' family. He had to save Tom from ruin. But emotionally her heart couldn't understand it. She knew he loved her as she did him. They had come such a long way from the moment they met.

He didn't get to finish that conversation, his conversation which would have ended in words of love and a proposal of marriage. They were both sure to make a commitment to one another. Now that would never happen.

He approached her as he explained that he had to engage himself to Eliza Campion. And that he didn't have a choice.

_"Charlotte. My dearest Charlotte. I had hoped that when I returned I would be able to make you a proposal of marriage. But it cannot be. The fact is I have been obliged to engage myself to Mrs Eliza Campion.Please believe me that if there was any other way to resolve Tom's situation"_

His words were white noise to her ears as she fled the room.

_"I understand. I wish you every happiness. Excuse me."_

-

Her heart was broken in bits. She sobbed big fat tears behind close doors.

How could she stay and watch Sidney wed another woman. Be married to someone else, especially to someone as horrid as Eliza Campion, who looked down on her. Her smug little face that said she was the one who won.

How could she watch them live together as husband and wife, they would most definitely move back to London, but until then she couldn't stand being in the same town as them let alone the same room as them.

Like at Esther wedding, she had to put up a front that said nothing was wrong. She had to pretend that she was okay.

She could always feel Sidney's eyes watching her from across the room and worse still it was so obvious. She would look down or look away, and she could not bear the sympathetic looks from Mary and Georgiana.

It would not do to stay in Sanditon, she would most definitely have to leave. There was too many memories of her and Sidney together everywhere she turned.

The memories haunted her each night she slept. The way they danced, the way they stood on the balcony. The kiss on the clifftop that was full of passion. His words. Charlotte couldn’t help but sob each time she thought of him. Sidney would always be the only one in her heart. She had resigned her to a life of a lonely spinster. She could try and make herself fall in love with someone else and marry, but she knew her heart wouldn't be in it. It wouldn't help to have two unhappy marriages out there.

And so two days after Esther' wedding, she stayed in her room to pack her things away. She mentioned to the Parker family that morning, that it was time to go home. They had asked her if she would come back, but they all knew that this was the last time that they would ever see Charlotte Heywood here. 

-

And so word got around to Sidney by lunch time that she was leaving Sanditon for good. He stormed into her bedroom not caring for propriety. He looked so forlon and heart stricken.

Charlotte eyes welled as she stood staring at him as he paced her room.

"I can't even beg you to stay, cause it would be unfair and selfish of me to ask that of you!"

Sidney ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"It cuts me to pieces to know you're leaving Sanditon.And to think we never see each other again? Cause we won't will we. I have to marry Eliza and not you! And I won't ever see you again."

"I won't be able to touch or kiss you. Love you. Let alone even watch you from the other side of the room. It would be like you were a dream. A figment of my imagination. How can I live like that..."

Charlotte weeped.

"Well you're the one who agreed to marry her Mr.Parker so you have to try."

Sidney recoiled. "So you can't even call me given name."

"It wouldn't be proper! And you're not being fair to me! How can you expect me to stay in Sanditon!"

Tears fell down Charlotte face, as she tried to keep her emotions in check but failing miserably.

"You have broken me! And the only way I can fix myself is to leave."

Sidney grabbed her pulled her into arms, he couldn't help himself. He kissed her hard on the lips, as Charlotte tried to pull away.

"I want to beg you to stay Charlotte. I want to be selfish. I want to! My heart belongs to you. I don't love her, you know!"

Words unspoken. _"Of course it's you I love."_

Charlotte shoves him away.

"Please leave Sidney."

"You need to leave. Leave me be. please... Just go!"

With the door slamming behind him Sidney stumbles out of her room no fight left in him, as she broke down on the floor in tears.

What would become of her heart now....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shall I continue


	2. Chapter 2

To hell with it. Sidney found himself at the nearest pub house. He had to get some drink down his throat. He needed something to dull the pain in his heart and gut. His head. He physically felt sick knowing he broke the heart of the one person he held most dear to his heart.

And the fact he would never see her again. His beautiful Charlotte.

She was forever etched into his heart. Strong minded and courageous. A beautiful soul who thought about others before thinking of herself.

He knew he wasn't worthy of her even in the earlier days of them meeting and as time went on, he realise how she chipped away his amour. He was such a brute. As of course Charlotte had received several tongue lashing from him. And to be fair till this day that first time still ate at him. He could see the hurt in her eyes. So innocent and sorrowful. But even after that first time he couldn't help it, he and Charlotte butted head all too often. But from the first time, Charlotte gave it back it spades. And all too soon he realised how she was all too witty. And delightful especially when when she bit back at him.

_It was impossible to say how she slowly became someone he ardently admire. He wasn’t worthy of her then. Now he never would be._

She was departing tomorrow morning in a carriage back to Willingden. And he knew it was selfish, but he knew if she stayed in Sanditon there was the small comfort of knowing she was close by. He knew Eliza didn't care for Sanditon and she most definitely wanted to live it up in London. But he knew that if Charlotte stayed in Sanditon, he could possibly see her once in a blue moon whenever he visiting Tom and his family.

He didn’t want to lose her completely out of his life. The knowledge of that would totally break him. So just to glance at her would have to be enough. He knew of course it would never be enough.

But what could he do. He was obligated to marry Eliza. She had a mass of money to her name being a wealthy widow. What other choice did he have.

He knocked back a drink and another. And another.

Young Stringer watched in across the room with hate.

"She better off without you!" He spat at him.

"It's not of your business!"

"You made it my business when you stole Charlotte from me!"

Sidney was enraged. "Stole?! Are you for real!"

"Charlotte was never yours in the first place. I'm the one in love with her! Just like she in love with me!"

Stringer scoffed.

"Yeh cause you love her that much you're marrying Mrs Campion!"

Sidney all but was ready to take a swing at him. He snapped as he lunged for him.

"Have you ever thought that if it wasn't for your father, we wouldn't be in this bloody mess!" Sidney raged "I would be marrying Charlotte not Eliza!"

Guilt ate at Stringer as he knew Sidney was right. But that didn’t stop the pain or hurt from making him punch Sidney. He was just as angry and lost as Sidney was. Stringer fist caught Sidney just below the eye. The stinging effect and of course the couple of glasses of whisky made Sidney lose his balance for a second.

But Sidney ever the fighter, knew that Stringer had caught him offhanded. Sidney knew he was the better man, the better fighter. He let him have the first punch, but that was all he was going to get.

Sidney swung back, getting a punch back in. Squarely directly in Stringers' face. He heard a crack of statisfaction, knowing with pride he had just broke his nose. Bloody spurting everywhere. Sidney went in for another swing when someone caught his arm.

Babington yanked him away. "That's enough Sidney! You'll end up causing too much damage."

"I suggest you leave!!" He muttered as he turned to Stringer.

He glanced from the corner of his eyes as he watched him get up and leave but keeping a close eye on Sidney to make sure he didn't launch another attack again. But to be fair, Sidney was closed back into himself.

Babington watched with trepidation as his friend stumbled backward into his seat broken. Sidney sobbed. "He said I didn't deserve her!"

"What I suppose to do. I tried every avenue. All the banks refused to get involved anymore than they already had. Nobody who has more than eighty thousand is willing to invest knowing what debts Tom is already in. They all said he a liability."

Babington sighed as he sat down. "And I guess Eliza was the only one. You do know it's her way of sinking her claws into you!"

Sidney poured himself another glass and proceeded to neck it back. He had practically drank the whole bottle himself. But he didn't care if he would get blind drunk. Anything to block out these feelings. He wanted to feel numb.

"I wish I could lend you the money. But now I have a wife..."

Sidney looked resigned to this impending doom. Eliza would be his wife and there was no damn choice about it. And so he drank again.

"I think we need to get you home."

"I think I’d rather stay here and drink. I can't go back there knowing she just down the hall..."

Sidney wiped a tear away, he felt so broken. He drank from straight from the bottle. Yeah to hell with it.

-

Babington literally had to drag Sidney to Tom's door. It was so unseemly of Sidney Parker to get blind drunk. The last time he got this blind drunk, Eliza had got herself engaged to another man. Tom couldn't understand it, Sidney should be happy that he was marrying his one true love. The one that got away.

"Why is he drunk? Was he celebrating?"

"And why is his face swollen and cut?"

Babington wanted to swing for the other Parker himself, seriously was he that oblivious. He sighed.

"Where is his room?"

Sidney was delirious and completely drunk but not completely out of it. He realised where Babington had dragged him back to. He screamed out.

"I don’t want to be here!"

He saw Tom standing there with deep concern and started to laugh bitterly. "You don't know how much I hate you right now!"

Tom' eyes widen in hurt. Never once had Sidney ever said that to him in all the years they were family, even the biggest arguments when they crossed paths. Sidney loved his brothers dearly.

"I'm sorry Sidney but how have I wronged you?"

Sidney growled and launched himself at Tom. Ready to punch him. His ignorance was too much too bear. Babington had to use most of his strength to hold Sidney back.

Mary cried out in the background as appeared in the hallway. She watched in horror as Sidney go for her husband.

"I think you need to speak to your husband Mary. This is truly getting out of hand."

He dragged Sidney up the stairs, as he left the Mrs Parker below ready to square off with Tom...

-

And there stood Charlotte at the top of the stairs with tears streaming down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shall we continue? 🤓 📖


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. This Chapter is short for a reason.

Sidney retched as he woke up with the most confounding headache. He also realised he was completely naked as day in his bed. Bizarrely he occasionally slept naked. But he doesn't remember stripping down, and he certainly doesn’t remember Babington undressing him. And no maid or servant would certainly do it.

His left cheek still hurt. His whole body ached. It felt like he gone a million and one rounds in a fighting ring.

He most definitely had drank way too much last night as he remembered fighting with Young Stringer and nearly fighting with his brother Tom. The guilt ate at him that of him fighting with Tom, on the other hand Stringer deserved it in spades. He wish he had punched him a few more times to relieve some frustrations in him. Stringer certainly had no right or say about his relationship with Charlotte. And he knew from first instinct that Stringer' rage came from a place of love and jealousy. Stringer blatantly was in love with his Charlotte, but his feelings weren't reciprocated.

Because his Charlotte was in love with him.

Charlotte!

Sidney swore as he sat up, with realisation. It was the morning she was to leave. He half-hazardly pulled on some clothes as he checked the mantle clock, oh god he hope she had left yet.

He had heart palpitations as he thought of her leaving.

His heart pounded.

She can't have gone without saying goodbye.

He prayed in fact she changed her mind. He pounded on her door as he went to open it, but the door itself was locked. Maybe she was getting changed. But there was no answer. The temptation to break the door off it hinges was too great.

He felt like a caged madman.

Did he go downstairs? Did he go look for Mary to ask? Where the bleeding hell was Charlotte?

So many questions ran through his head, but the most important thing that ran through his head, was that he couldn't let her go without his declaration of love. He desperately loved her.

And those unspoken words are him. He needed to get them out. He needed to put those words out there.

_Charlotte. I whole heartily love you._

He noticed that there wasn't anyone around, which was strange as usually there were a few servants milling around. He stumbled downstairs to find the house completely empty. The dining room where they broke their fast, held nobody. Everything had been cleared away and tidied.

He was getting frantic now. He called out Charlotte name, but he received no response. Where was everyone? But more importantly where was she? He ran back upstairs to Charlotte room as he put brute force against the door and broke it. With fear eating at him, the room looked pristine and was completely empty. It looked like nobody had used the room in ages.

A servant girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh my god what have you done. Why have you broke the door?! Mrs Parker will be so angry."

Sidney made a grab for the servant girl by the arm.

"Where is Miss Heywood? Where is She?"

"I'm sorry I do not know anyone of that name here sir! Only Mrs Parker and Mr Parker and the children live here. And you."

"Charlotte!"

"I'm sorry Sir..."

Sidney pushed the girl out of the room and fell to his knees in despair. What was happening? Was it possible that Charlotte was a figment if his imagination. His heart cried out as he sobbed on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will back soon with the next chapter 💗


	4. Chapter 4

As it were all the servants had gone to church as it was Sunday. Hence why that morning the house was empty apart from one new servant girl. Who of course knew nothing of a Miss Heywood. How was she supposed to know of her if she had never met her.

Arriving home first was of course the The Parkers. But the family had come back to a frenzy as basically Sidney had decide to trash the whole room.

He sat against the wall completely broken. His knuckles were bruised and bleeding.

Mary knelt down to hug her brother-in-law whilst the children stood idly by the doorway slightly afraid and worried why their Uncle Sidney was crying. Tom looked guilty and forlorn as he ushered the kids away to their room with the governess.

"Sidney?" Pleaded Mary.

Sidney looked up glumly. "Did I imagine her?"

"Who?"

"Charlotte..."

Both Mary and Tom looked at each other in confusion. "You didn't imagine Charlotte silly." mentioned Mary.

Sidney sobbed and looked around the room perplexed. "There's no trace of anyone having stayed in this room. It was like she was never here."

Mary sighed. "She left in the early hours of this morning Sidney."

The Parker family decided to forgo the need to attend church as of course they had to see Charlotte off in the carriage.

"I need her back Mary. Please. I didn't even get chance to tell her that I love her. I love her Mary. I need her back! I can't marry Eliza! Please. There must be another way."

Tom knelt down beside his wife in front of his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. Sidney flinched under his touch.

"I'm so sorry Sidney, I didn't even realise that you had formed an attachment with Charlotte. You never ever showed any interest in anyone in the past. I thought your heart still lay with Eliza."

"I hope you forgive me for my carelessness."

"I promise you that we still sort this out." Mary hugged Sidney. "Come let's tidy you up."

-

Sidney went for a swim later that day, he still wasn't convinced that Charlotte had been a figment or his imagination. Maybe his heartache was so great it had finally broken his mind.

It had been such a whirlwind.

He couldn't believe she actually left Sanditon and the fact he didn't get that chance to say goodbye stung so much.

He let the water wash over his achy bones as he thought about his sweetheart. Cause that what she was to him. It would kill him knowing that if he didn't fight for Charlotte he would lose her forever and that would not do. He hated feeling so despondent. This was not in all character of his personality. Usually he was hard aloof and unnerving. He was not the type of person to show his emotions. He was a typical man. But alas the lose of Charlotte had reduced him to this state of a man. He was just a shell.

His soul had been ripped out and the only way to get it was getting back Charlotte.

But he knew he still had to sort out Tom' mess before he could darken the doors of Charlotte' home in Willingden. First he knew he had to go forth to London to speak to Eliza to break off their engagement. It would not do to marry her now. Not when his heart truly belonged to Charlotte.

-

Eliza sat fuming as Sidney sat before her as he explained to her that he couldn't marry her.

"You the one who asked me to marry you Sidney! And now you want to recant!"

"I don't love you Eliza. And I can't do that to myself and I..."

Eliza cut him off full on scowling at him. "I don't care if you don't love me. You're mine! Your brother won't get a penny from me if you don't marry me!"

"I won't marry you! I'm not being blackmail into becoming a bank transaction for Tom! And he now knows this."

Eliza continued scowling. "It cause of that girl. Her isn’t it, the one that was babysitting the children. I can't believe you're lowing yourself to her. She' so beneath us it unreal. She's just a farmer daughter!"

"And yet she will always be the better woman than you. Eliza you can't see past your nose to spite anyone. You care more about money and status, it why you threw me over previously wasn't it! And Charlotte is more of a human being than anyone I’ve met in my whole life. More than you. You don't understand how beautiful she is inside and and out. And she completes me! And if you don't get that you certainly don't get me!"

Eliza scoffed. "I still don't care. If you don't marry me. I will ruin you and I will ruin her! I won't let her win!"

ElLiza hated losing especially to other women. It one of the reasons she married her previous husband, he was engaged to another. But Eliza always got what she couldn't have. 

And of course she loved a challenge. Yes she was determined to win this one. To hell with Sidney's heart, what did she care. 

Yes it was all about the game for her. And if she had to destroy everything in her path to get her own way, well so be it.

_Everyone could burn!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeh. I don't like Eliza! But don't worry she will most definitely get her comeuppance.
> 
> Does anyone seen what Charlotte been up to?


End file.
